The Consumer Product Safety Commission maintains the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System, a massive, anonymous database that tracks why Americans show up to the ER. That includes cases where someone arrives sheepish, uncomfortable, and very aware that gravity is not a valid explanation. Every year, doctors log what they find. Every year, the list gets longer.

Medical journals have been documenting the trend for decades. A study in the American Journal of Emergency Medicine estimated nearly 39,000 hospital visits per year related to rectal foreign bodies, with most patients middle-aged and male. More than half involved sex toys. The rest fall into a category best described as “how did this even occur?”

Researchers note that many cases escalate because people try to fix the situation themselves first. Pliers, tweezers, coat hangers, and other tools frequently appear in follow-up imaging, which explains why doctors beg patients to stop improvising.

So what exactly made it into the official records last year? Here’s a rearranged selection of items doctors reported removing, pulled from government data and emergency medicine case studies.

Some of the worst items found in People’s butts

• A full shampoo bottle, listed twice, once blamed on boredom
• A baseball, documented with the explanation “to see what it felt like”
• A corn cob holder
• A turkey baster
• A wine stopper
• A plastic cleanser bottle filled with liquid
• Eyeglasses
• A rock
• Two pencils
• A vape pen
• A flashlight
• A battery-powered light
• A film canister
• A rectangular travel toothbrush
• A dog chew toy
• Uncooked pasta
• An egg
• Marbles
• A sandal
• A doorknob
• Beard clippers wrapped in plastic, cited as constipation relief
• A light bulb, inserted glass-side first
• A plastic coat hanger, altered so the person could drive to the ER
• A corn-cob style pipe
• A thermos, discovered during a police body scan

Emergency physician Kenji Oyasu, who works in Chicago, summed up the situation in a viral TikTok when asked about the strangest object he’d ever removed. It was a full-size Yankee Candle. “The desktop jar,” he said. “The whole thing.” He explained that suction turns removal into a medical problem, not a pulling contest.

Doctors stress that these cases aren’t common, but they’re common enough to keep appearing in peer-reviewed journals. They also tend to get worse the longer someone waits.

This isn’t about shaming people. It’s a heads-up that, if you decide to stick something questionable where the “sun don’t shine,” the government will write it down for the world to see. 

The post The 25 Worst Items Pulled From People’s Butts in 2025, According to the US Government appeared first on VICE.

On Wednesday, the daughter, whose name is Carine Kanimba, testified in front of Congress in a hearing on the threat of the proliferation of commercial spyware made by companies like NSO Group. In front of the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence committee, Kanimba shared her experience as the victim of sophisticated government spyware.

“I was mortified, and I am terrified,” Kanimba said. 

Kanimba said she believes NSO Group’s spyware was used by the Rwandan government to keep an eye on her and her family’s efforts to secure the release of her father, who in 2020 was abducted in Dubai and later convicted in Rwanda on terrorism charges. Kanimba explained the psychological pain she’s suffered because of the surveillance. 

“I am frightened by what the Rwandan government will do to me and my family next,” she said. “It keeps me awake that they knew everything I was doing, where I was, who I was speaking with, my private thoughts, and actions at any moment they wanted.”

Even now that her case is public, Kanimba said the Rwandan government could still “reinfect” her phone.

“So I still do not feel safe,” she said. “On a personal level, I am a 29-year-old woman and I use my phone quite often, not only in the efforts to secure my father’s release, but in my social, my private conversations with my friends. And the fact that the same government that tortured my father, that is holding him hostage, and that has been trying to silence him from all these years, now also has access to my private messages and my conversations and my location—it is very, very scary.”

Do you have information similar cases of government spyware abuse? We’d love to hear from you. From a non-work phone or computer, you can contact Lorenzo Franceschi-Bicchierai securely on Signal at +1 917 257 1382, Wickr/Telegram/Wire @lorenzofb, or email lorenzofb@vice.com

Kanimba is one of dozens of victims who were hacked with NSO Group’s spyware and have been identified as part of the Pegasus Project, an investigative effort conducted by Amnesty International and a group of media partners including the Guardian and The Washington Post.

Activist groups such as Amnesty International and Citizen Lab have for years been detailing cases where governments around the world have allegedly used spyware made by companies like NSO Group or the now-defunct Hacking Team to target human rights defenders and journalists. 

In the last year, the US government has taken steps to address these abuses. 

In November of last year, the Commerce Department put NSO Group and Candiru, another Israeli spyware maker, on a list that bars American companies or individuals from selling or providing services to them. Then in February of this year, the Department of Justice indicted a Mexican citizen who used to work as a reseller of Hacking Team’s spyware in the country. The citizen, Carlos Guerrero, pleaded guilty to selling the hacking tools to government clients knowing that they “could and likely would” use it for “political purposes, not just for law enforcement purposes.” 

According to experts, as well as a source with knowledge of that investigation, this case may be the beginning of a larger effort by the U.S. government to curb the use of commercial spyware by foreign countries. 

“Thank you for letting me share my story and the story of my father Paul Rusesabagina,” Kanimba said at the end of her introductory statement during the hearing. “I hope that you find it useful in considering how to regulate the type of tools used to target my family, and my father.

Subscribe to our podcast, CYBER. Subscribe to our new Twitch channel.

The post Woman Tells Congress What It’s Like to Be Hacked by NSO’s Pegasus appeared first on VICE.

On Wednesday, the Commerce Department’s Bureau of Industry and Security (BIS) published a list of companies subject to these restrictions, which includes NSO Group. 

“NSO Group and Candiru (Israel) were added to the Entity List based on evidence that these entities developed and supplied spyware to foreign governments that used these tools to maliciously target government officials, journalists, businesspeople, activists, academics, and embassy workers,” the Commerce Department wrote in a press release.

The list also includes another Israeli spyware seller, Candiru; a Singapore-based company that also sells hacking services, Computer Security Initiative Consultancy, better known as COSEINC; and Positive Technologies, a Russian company that had previously been accused and sanctioned by the Biden administration for helping Russian spies. 

“NSO Group is dismayed by the decision given that our technologies support US national security interests and policies by preventing terrorism and crime, and thus we will advocate for this decision to be reversed,” an NSO spokesperson told Motherboard in a text message. “We look forward to presenting the full information regarding how we have the world’s most rigorous compliance and human rights programs that are based the American values we deeply share, which already resulted in multiple terminations of contacts with government agencies that misused our products.”

The sanctions come after a series of investigations in the last few months that detailed multiple cases where NSO customers around the world allegedly used its spyware to target human rights activists, dissidents, journalists, and even heads of state. 

The sanctions effectively prohibit any U.S. company, as well as American citizens working in the U.S. from doing any business with NSO, including selling hardware and software. If anyone wants to do business with NSO Group from now on, they will have to apply for a license and get approval from the US government, according to Douglas Jacobson, an expert in sanctions and export law. 

According to documents published in the past, as well as news reports, NSO has in the past relied on products and services from several U.S. companies such as Amazon, Dell, Cisco, Intel, and Microsoft in order to deploy its spyware. This means that these sanctions may seriously hobble NSO’s regular operations. The documents are part of a contract between an NSO reseller and the government of Ghana highlighted during Facebook and WhatsApp’s lawsuit against NSO. The documents include technical specifications of hardware and software used by NSO’s Pegasus hacking system.

Do you work or have worked for NSO Group, or a similar company? We’d love to hear from you. You can contact Lorenzo Franceschi-Bicchierai securely on Signal at +1 917 257 1382, Wickr/Telegram/Wire @lorenzofb, or email lorenzofb@vice.com

Jacobson, however, explained that the Commerce Department listed these companies under a “presumption of denial.”

“You have to overcome that presumption. And that is not an easy burden,” Jacobson, who is a lawyer at Jacobson Burton Kelley PLLC, told Motherboard in a phone call.

Jacobson explained that this applies to all kinds of software and hardware, such as licenses for Microsoft’s cloud service Office 365, or server racks made by U.S. companies. 

This sanction could also indirectly affect NSO’s business across the world. 

“It doesn’t put a scarlet letter per se. But it definitely raises questions. And there it certainly raises red flags that some companies just may choose not to continue to sell,” Jacobson said.

This sanction does not prevent NSO from selling its spyware to U.S. law enforcement or intelligence agencies, Jacobson said. But it could be the first step that leads to wider sanctions against the company. 

Activists who for years have denounced abuse from NSO’s customers rejoiced at the news. 

“I very much welcome this news. For years we have been documenting extensive and serial abuses of mercenary spyware sold by companies like NSO Group and Candiru. For years, many people have debated how to mitigate these harms, with little concrete progress. I am and my colleagues have long argued that it must start with serious government regulation. The US Department of Commerce’s designation is a very positive first step to bringing some public accountability and order to this otherwise poorly regulated marketplace,” Ron Deibert, the founder and director of Citizen Lab, a research group housed at the Munk School of Global Affairs & Public Policy, University of Toronto, told Motherboard in an email “This designation should put companies like NSO and Candiru on notice that they cannot frivolously and repeatedly make sales to government clients that will routinely mis-use such powerful tools. Now it is time for other governments to follow suit.”

A Dell spokesperson told Motherboard that the company “received notice this morning of the Commerce Department’s new designations to the list.”

“We’re currently evaluating the impact to our business, and will take all actions necessary to ensure the company meets any applicable regulatory requirements,” the spokesperson said in an email.

An Intel spokesperson denied the company was part of the contract between an NSO reseller and the Ghana government. And he also said: “Intel complies with U.S. export restrictions, including the requirements of the Bureau of Industry and Security’s Entity List.”

Cristin Goodwin, the general manager for Microsoft’s Digital Security Unit said in an email that “This rule is a strong step toward addressing the danger these actors pose, and we encourage other countries to adopt similar policies.”

“We’ve taken both legal and technical steps to disrupt these actors in the past, and we will work hard to look for any instances these groups attempt to use our services and comply with the rule,” he added.

Amazon and Cisco did not immediately respond to a request for comment. 

This story has been updated to include comment from NSO, Dell, Intel and Microsoft.

Joseph Cox contributed reporting. 

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The post US Sanctions Could Cut Off NSO From Tech It Relies On appeared first on VICE.

Dear members of the Bachelor Cinematic Universe: If you make your living posting photos of your “aspirational lifestyle,” maybe don’t apply for government aid.

Several former contestants on “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” who now work as influencers received loans from the Paycheck Protection Program, according to records maintained by ProPublica and reported by Vulture Monday. You know, that government program meant to help small businesses survive the economic devastation of the coronavirus pandemic.

Tayshia Adams, who’s co-hosting the current season of “The Bachelorette” after starring as the Bachelorette in 2020, got a $20,833 PPP loan for her LLC. Arie Luyendyk Jr., an ex-Bachelor whose biggest contribution to society is probably that time he refused to leave a woman alone after breaking up with her, also received a $20,830 PPP loan, alongside his wife Lauren Burnham Luyendyk. Their shared, Arizona-based LLC is called “Instagram Husband, LLC,” which honestly sounds about right. And Dale Moss, who won Clare Crawley’s 2020 “Bachelorette” season, also got a loan of $20,833 for his LLC, although Vulture reported that he had yet to receive the money.

The Luyendyks and Moss didn’t respond to Vulture’s request for comment, so who knows whether they got the loans for “the right reasons.” (Maybe the Luyendyks were in Hawaii, in that new house they just bought?) But a spokesperson for Adams told Vulture in a statement that Adams had used the government money to hire an employee.

“As a business owner, television and podcast host, and brand ambassador, Tayshia obtained a PPP loan that enabled her to hire an employee, to whom she offers market-based pay and benefits,” said the spokesperson. “Since exhausting the PPP loan funds, but in light of the growing economy, Tayshia has committed to retaining her employee for the foreseeable future.”

The records describe these LLCs as meant for “Independent Artists, Writers, and Performers,” which sure sounds like a much fancier way of saying “influencers.” But another former Bachelor, Colton Underwood, also got a PPP loan—but for his charity, the Colton Underwood Legacy Foundation, which helps kids living with cystic fibrosis. His loan was just for $11,355.

“Let me save you the clickbait headline,” Underwood, who recently came out as gay, wrote in an Instagram story Monday. “My nonprofit filed for a PPP because we cancelled our charity events for this year. We help people living with CF. I don’t make a dime from my nonprofit…please stop lumping me in with the Bachelor. I don’t fuck with them anymore, they don’t fuck with me. Point blank. Thanks.”

Since the news broke, several other “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” alumni have weighed in on the controversy. Jason Tartick—a former “Bachelorette” contestant who’s currently dating ex-Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe—said on Instagram that he didn’t apply for a PPP loan.

“I could’ve, because events and speaking pulled back. But as events and speaking pulled back, social media spend was increased, so I just decided not to do it,” Tartick said, adding, “There was more opportunity and it didn’t feel right. And so for reasons like these DMs, I’m glad I didn’t.”

Even Nick Viall, who took a turn as the Bachelor after starring on multiple seasons of “The Bachelorette” and “Bachelor in Paradise,” showed up to the social media fray with an unsurprisingly shifty take.

“What’s legal isn’t always right. What’s illegal isn’t always wrong,” tweet Viall, who once lambasted a Bachelorette because she “made love” to him when she wasn’t in love with him. (Women! Doing what they want with their bodies! The horror!) “Don’t know everyone’s situation, but my gut tells any alum applying for a PPP is both savvy and shitty. Interesting debate.” 

The post ‘The Bachelor’ Stars Got PPP Loans While Millions Struggled During COVID appeared first on VICE.

The 79-year-old, who lives in Kanagawa Prefecture and has not been identified, did not know why he received the check in April.

He thought the payments could be somehow related to the U.S. Social Security benefits he has been receiving as someone who used to work in the United States. His wife also got a $1,400 check, the report said.

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For five years from 1978, the man worked in the U.S. office of a Japanese electronics company and paid Social Security taxes. Based on the U.S.’ 2005 Totalization Agreement with Japan, which provides benefits for those who work or have worked in both countries, he and his wife each receive monthly Social Security payments of $500, according to the Japanese newspaper.

Complications with the stimulus program have arisen before, including slow payments as well as mispayments to 1 million dead people.

“The United States has so much money to spare that it gives it to foreigners like me who lived there about 40 years ago,” he joked, according to the Asahi Shimbun report.

A 68-year-old former office worker in Chofu, Tokyo, and his wife also received stimulus checks in April and May, the newspaper said.

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Similar to the man in Kanagawa, the 68-year-old used to live in New York in the 1980s and paid taxes. At the end of 2020, he applied for a pension in the U.S., which he thought might have led to the stimulus payment, Asahi Shimbun reported.

President Joe Biden’s American Rescue Plan, which includes the most recent stimulus payments, was signed into law on March 11.

U.S. citizens, as well as lawful permanent residents with Social Security numbers, are largely the only groups eligible for a stimulus check, although there are some exceptions for people with mixed immigration status.

Based on the Japanese news reports, it is unclear whether the Japanese recipients of the checks should have received them.

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According to Donna Kepley, president of an international tax consulting firm called Arctic International LLC, it is illegal to cash the checks for non-U.S. citizens, she told Asahi Shimbun. She said the IRS likely made a mistake when mailing these payments.

In response to an inquiry from the Asahi Shimbun, the IRS recommended that those ineligible to cash the checks mail it back to the IRS tax center in Texas.

The 79-year-old man in Kanagawa, who was told by the U.S. embassy in Japan to call the IRS for questions, said he did not intend to cash the checks but would keep them.

“Only because I don’t want to go through all the trouble to make an international phone call,” he said.

Follow Hanako Montgomery on Twitter and Instagram.

The post Old Japanese People Are Getting US Stimulus Checks in the Mail appeared first on VICE.

As criminals start to embrace new technologies, the cops are following suit. The United States Internal Revenue Service is now offering up to $625,000 for new tools to track down criminals using the privacy-focused Monero cryptocurrency and new blockchain technology such as the Bitcoin Lightning Network

The IRS published a request for proposals last week, with a deadline for September 16.

“There are limited investigative resources for tracing transactions involving privacy cryptocurrency coins such as Monero, Layer 2 network protocol transactions such as Lightning Labs, or other off-chain transactions that provide privacy to illicit actors,” the IRS wrote.

The agency is looking for new solutions to help its IRS-Criminal Investigations agents trace transactions made with Monero or other privacy-preserving cryptocurrency, as well as on the Lightning network. The IRS wants to be able to see these tools’ algorithms and source code to integrate them into their existing solutions, and—ideally—minimize the involvement of external vendors, according to the request for proposals.

“We are looking for solutions which provide the best results for tracing obfuscated cryptocurrency transactions using Monero and/or Lightning,” the IRS wrote.

The IRS plans to pay whoever comes up with a solution that fits its requirements $500,000 in a first phase of software development and proof of concept that will last eight months, and an additional $125,000 for a second phase of testing and initial deployment that will last 120 days. The agency isn’t planning to pick only one proposal, as it plans to spend around $1 million “in FY20 [fiscal year 2020] funding across all solutions.”

The developers who win the contract will work closely with IRS agents to develop the technology, which the developers will be able to offer elsewhere as well, as the IRS “does not intend to request retention of any intellectual property,” but just the chance to continue using the solutions with a “non-exclusive perpetual royalty-free license to any source code developed with this funding,” according to the document.

“Privacy coins continue to be a challenge to law enforcement due to their increased anonymity and specific technological enhancements.” an IRS spokesperson said in an emailed statement. “Currently, there are limited investigative resources for tracing transactions involving privacy cryptocurrency coins such as Monero, Layer 2 network protocol transactions such as Lightning Labs, or other off-chain transactions that provide privacy to illicit actors. The pilot will look to leverage the knowledge of public/private sector and academia to address these specific challenges.”

There are several companies that offer cryptocurrency tracing technologies, such as Chainalysis, CipherTrace, and Neutrino, a startup that was acquired by Coinbase.

This story was updated to include a statement from the IRS.

The post The IRS Wants to Buy Tools to Trace Privacy-Focused Cryptocurrency Monero appeared first on VICE.

On Tuesday, the Department of Justice filed a lawsuit against Snowden in an attempt to stop him from earning any proceedings from sales of his new book, called Permanent Record. The government accused Snowden of breaking his promise to protect the secrets of the CIA and the NSA, his previous employers, by writing a book and giving paid speeches without the government’s permission.

The government is not trying to keep Snowden’s memoir off bookstores, it’s merely trying to stop him from making any money off of it.

“Intelligence information should protect our nation, not provide personal profit,” G. Zachary Terwilliger, U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia, where the suit was filed, was quoted as saying in a press release.

In theory, if the government were to win this lawsuit, that would mean readers who buy the book to support the whistleblower and protest NSA surveillance would actually be giving money to the very government Snowden has spoken out against.

In the lawsuit, government lawyers explain that Snowden signed non-disclosure agreements with the NSA and the CIA in which he agreed not to divulge classified information. As part of that agreement, Snowden was supposed to submit his book’s manuscript to the CIA and NSA to get their clearance.

“The purpose of this prepublication review ‘is to determine whether material contemplated for public disclosure contains protected information and if so, to give the NSA an opportunity to prevent the public disclosure of such information,’” the government wrote in the lawsuit, quoting the NSA Secrecy Agreement that any employee or contractor like Snowden is required to sign.

Trevor Timm, the founder of the Freedom of the Press Foundation, where Snowden sits on the board of directors, criticized the lawsuit.

“If only the Justice Department was as concerned with the systematic legal violations carried out by the US government’s mass surveillance programs as they are about trying to blunt the impact of a personal memoir by the person who alerted to public,” Timm said in a statement. “This misguided lawsuit is all the more reason everyone should read Snowden’s book.”

There are precedents where the U.S. government has successfully gone after former employees or contractors for this reason. In 2016, a member of the team that killed Osama Bin Laden had to give up $6.8 million in royalties for violating their pre-publication clearance rule. In 2012, a judge ruled that a former CIA officer who wrote the book “The Human Factor” had to relinquish all his future earnings because he published without getting the agency’s permission.

“The government has a very strong legal argument in cases like this,” said Steven Aftergood, who studies government secrecy at the Federation of American Scientists.

Snowden did not immediately respond to a request for comment via Twitter direct message.

Ben Wizner, the director of the ACLU’s Speech, Privacy, and Technology Project American Civil Liberties Union and Snowden’s attorney, said that “this book contains no government secrets that have not been previously published by respected news organizations. Had Mr. Snowden believed that the government would review his book in good faith, he would have submitted it for review. But the government continues to insist that facts that are known and discussed throughout the world are still somehow classified.”

“Mr. Snowden wrote this book to continue a global conversation about mass surveillance and free societies that his actions helped inspire. He hopes that today’s lawsuit by the United States government will bring the book to the attention of more readers throughout the world,” Wizner said in an emailed statement.

Meanwhile, some are already coming out in support of Snowden. Peter Sunde, the founder of the Pirate Bay, joked on Twitter that he’d be happy to offer help since he is “almost as good as you at pissing these people off.”

“You know how to find me, contrary to them,” Sunde wrote.

We will update this story as soon as we hear back.

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The post The US Government Is Suing Edward Snowden appeared first on VICE.

“The entities designated today have directly contributed to improving Russia’s cyber and underwater capabilities through their work with the FSB and therefore jeopardize the safety and security of the United States and our allies,” Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin said in a statement.

But one of the security companies named in the new sanctions, ERPScan, denied having anything to do with the Russian government in an email to Motherboard.

“The only issue is that I and some of my peers were born in Russia, oh, cmon, I’m sorry but I can’t change it,” ERPScan’s founder Alexander Polyakov told me. “We don’t have any ties to Russian government.”

Got a tip? You can contact this reporter securely on Signal at +1 917 257 1382, OTR chat at lorenzo@jabber.ccc.de, or email lorenzo@motherboard.tv

ERPScan is mostly known for its product that hunts for vulnerabilities in companies’ systems provided by SAP, a popular German enterprise software maker. Cyber Defense Magazine gave ERPScan an award this year for “best product” in its artificial intelligence and machine learning category.

Polyakov said he was “embarrassed” by the news and defended his company.

“We helped multiple software companies to make their systems secure by helping to fiх over 600 vulnerabilities in their products always following responsive disclosure and helping research community,” he wrote in his email. “We published our research on over 100 security conferences worldwide.”

The US Treasury Department, the agency responsible for the sanctions, said that ERPScan was a “subsidiary of Digital Security.” Polyakov, however, claimed that as of 2014, ERPScan is a “private company registered in the Netherlands” and that it has no connections “with other companies listed in this document.”

Yet, Polyakov used to work for Digital Security before 2014, and Digital Security is registered as the trademark owner of ERPScan, as of 2013. When asked what he’s planning to do now, Polyakov simply answered: “You gotta fight for your right.”

The Treasury Department declined to comment and pointed to its press release.

Another sanctioned company, Embedi, echoed some of the arguments made by Plyakov.

“The news came to us as an unpleasant surprize. We never worked for Russian government, but indeed we have some former Russian researchers in our Research Team (some of them are former employees of Digital Security),” Alex Kruglov, Embedi’s head of marketing, told Motherboard in an email. “It is the only reason we can figure out to be added to a sanctions list.”

Additional reporting by Joseph Cox.

This story has been updated to add Embedi’s comments.

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The post Founder of Cybersecurity Company Says His Firm Was Sanctioned Because He was Born in Russia appeared first on VICE.

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It’s been a busy few weeks for the NOAA Corps, with Hurricanes Harvey, Irma, Jose and, now, Maria devastating the Gulf of Mexico and Caribbean. The latter storm has killed at least ten people in Puerto Rico and brought infrastructure crisis to the US island territory, where residents could be without power for months.

As a lead pilot for nine years, Commander Scott Price has punched through more hurricane eye-walls than he can recall. (“About 140,” he eventually estimated.) Officers like Price pilot and navigate the planes, while civilian members* of the NOAA—generally a team of 16, including engineers, technicians, and aircraft maintainers—make sure the hurricane data is collected.

I asked Price what it’s like flying into hurricanes professionally—and how close he’s come to disaster. Here’s what he told me.

The best data about the storm is in the storm itself, so we fly in and discharge sensors, which collect data like wind speed, direction, pressure, temperature, and humidity. We drop them, and, as they fall through the air column, it radios that data back to the plane, and we send that to the folks that generate the forecasts. That way, we get an accurate product out to the public with which they can make decisions. Evacuate, don’t evacuate, shutter businesses—our interest is to get the very best information to the public for decision-making purposes.

Often, we’ll fly two or three missions in a row. Each runs about nine hours. For Jose, we did a mission, landed, and gave the airplane to another crew that did a follow-up mission. My crew took off at four in the afternoon, landed at midnight, and the next crew took off at four in the morning, landing at noon. On average, we get about 48 hours notice that we’ll be flying.

NOAA has a couple of different airplanes that we refer to as the Hurricane Hunters. One is a Gulf Stream IV. It’s twin engine, high-altitude, typically flying between 40,000 and 45,000 feet, normally sampling the atmosphere around the storm and the external influences that help drive the hurricane around. Every once in a while, we’ll use it to cross the top of the storm, but typically they’re for the outskirts. The other type of plane we use is the P-3 Orion. The Navy uses them predominantly for anti-submarine warfare or reconnaissance, and we use them to penetrate the hurricane eye-wall.

People think of it being very calm in the eye, and that can certainly be the case. Irma is a good example: It went from a Category Two (96 to 110 MPH) to a Category Five (over 156 MPH). It was relatively calm in the center, but the eye-wall itself was a Category Five. As you fly in, your wind speed picks up and up, and you punch through the eye-wall. Inside, it’s relatively calm and smooth. While we’re in the eye, we to try to find the back pressure center of the storm, which helps with the forecast. Once we find that, we get back on our track outbound and exit the other side. We’re not in the eye very long. In younger storms—the tropical storms, or lower-level hurricanes—the eye can be turbulent. So, it all depends on the storm. But in the hurricanes people think about, a well-formed eye is often a softer ride.

A hurricane is definitely a turbulent ride. But the airplane we have is well fitted for it. It’s an older airplane that can take a beating. They definitely don’t make them like they used to. But even a 120,000-pound airplane can get knocked around pretty good. When we flew Jose, it was only a Category One (74 to 95 MPH), so it wasn’t well-formed. But there were a lot of convection fields of updraft and downdraft, which equated to a lot of turbulence. In the course of two hours, we were unable to turn the seatbelt lights off, so we had everyone strapped in. It was tiring and exhausting enough trying to keep the plane upright and to put it where we need to collect the very best data. But then the flight after that, six or seven hours later, they experienced a totally different storm.

We have limitations in place for what we’re allowed to fly in. The airplane is extremely rugged and can take beatings, but we need to protect it. If we hit a certain wind speed, we’ll abort. I personally have not been on a flight where we had to… wait, I take that back. We got bounced around pretty good once and had to abort. The plane was just fine, but a precautionary limit is built into our policy to protect the airplane. We have to use the plane again on the next flight. There’s always another storm on the horizon.

The worst-case scenario is to experience some sort of aircraft malfunction while we’re in that environment. I’ve been extremely fortunate, in that I haven’t had any significant issues. Well, we have had fires of unknown origin, something in the airplane catches fire or starts to smoke. We have emergency procedures to handle that, but it’s particularly challenging because it involves people taking the focus away from the hurricane itself. I’ve had two of those in the hurricane environment, not at the worst time, but we had to stop focusing on the hurricane. Also, I once experienced an indication of what would be an engine failure. It wasn’t at the worst possible time, but we’re in the storm to collect the data, and to do it safely. If you can’t collect the data and get safely out the other side, there’s no point in being there.

This account has been lightly edited and condensed for clarity.

*Correction 09/25/2017: An earlier version of this article incorrectly stated that civilians who take part in NOAA “Hurricane Hunter” flights are, like the pilots and navigators, members of the NOAA Corps, rather than the broader NOAA. We regret the error.

Follow Rick Paulas on Twitter.

The post I Fly Planes Through Hurricanes for a Living appeared first on VICE.