And unfortunately, many of us have also lost said person, making them “the one that got away.” These separations leave a noticeable hole in our lives and our hearts, triggering deep grief and even panic. 

Getting over someone you believed was “the one” is no easy feat. For some time following the split, you might experience denial, anger, depression, and even fear that you’ve lost your one chance at true love. But I promise you: that’s not the case.

Here are three tips for getting over the person you thought was your soulmate.

1. Challenge the Idea of ‘The One’

Growing up, I believed there was only one person created specifically for me. I’d read countless romance novels that only fueled that sentiment, hoping one day, I would meet my person and settle down for a peaceful, fulfilling life with them.

But over the years—and after experiencing different forms of heartbreak—my perspective has shifted. Call me jaded, but I don’t buy into the myth of “the one” anymore. Personally, I believe there are many people with whom we can fall in love, form a healthy attachment, and build a beautiful future.

Love might be a feeling, but it’s also a choice. And if someone chooses to betray or walk away from you, they probably aren’t meant to stay in your life. That doesn’t make them the villain, nor does it make you unworthy, and nor does it invalidate the bond you two shared. It merely means they were your person for a season—”the one” to show you how deeply you can love someone, but not “the one” to move forward with.

2. Understand that Love Does Not Equal Ownership

As I mentioned earlier, someone can be “the one” for a season. Long-term commitment is not the end-all, be-all. Life is ever-changing; relationships ebb and flow. Even if you believe the notion that “the one” is the person you will commit to spending your life with, understand that nothing is ever permanent or guaranteed—sometimes not even marriage. People divorce, spouses get sick, dynamics shift…

Of course, this isn’t to say marriage shouldn’t be your goal—I personally hope to get married and start a family one day. Marriage is a beautiful commitment, one that should be respected and taken seriously. But even a lawful union does not equate ownership over another person. Your spouse is still an individual, just as you are.

3. Know You Won’t Miss Out on What’s Meant for You

I remember going through a gut-wrenching heartbreak in my mid-20s, grieving someone I thought for sure would be the father of my kids someday. After nearly six years of dating, we’d talked of getting engaged, tying the knot, checking off all the boxes society has ingrained in us.

But ultimately, we realized we were growing apart more than together. We were still so young, and we had much growing to do individually. 

After the breakup, I thought for sure I would never find someone like him again. And I was right. 

No two people—no two partners—are the same. We all bring out different sides of each other, and I truly believe that certain people come into our lives when we need them, whether to teach us valuable lessons or to show us the kind of love we deserve.

I might not have met someone like my ex, but I have met new types of people. New friends, new partners, new connections that helped me grow in ways I wouldn’t have—couldn’t have—with him. And I’m sure he can say the same about me.

Does that take away from the relationship we once had? Of course, not. If anything, it’s a testament to how genuine our bond was at the time. 

Respect and express gratitude for the love you shared with your ex while acknowledging that your relationship didn’t work out for a reason. Trust what’s around the corner, and believe you will never miss out on what’s truly meant for you.

The post 3 Tips for Getting Over the Person You Thought Was ‘The One’ appeared first on VICE.

1. Stay In and Cook Together

Who says you need to go out on New Year’s Eve? Staying in, especially with your lover, can be just as—if not more—fun as hitting the bars or dining at a fancy restaurant. There are plenty of ways to make the night feel special from the comfort of your own home. For example, you can create a menu that suits your taste, featuring savory appetizers, a hearty meal, and delicious desserts, and try new recipes together as a couple. This makes for the perfect bonding opportunity. 

2. Set Couple’s Resolutions

Just as you’d set your own New Year’s resolutions, consider setting some as a couple. Write down promises you’d like to keep to yourselves and each other going into the new year, such as planning more date nights, hitting the gym together, or finally setting aside money for that romantic getaway you’ve been dreaming of. I’m convinced there’s power in mutual goals. When both people share the same intentions, you can hold each other accountable for sticking to your resolutions. 

3. Book a Hotel or Airbnb for the Night

Want to get away from the mundane without having to face noisy crowds? Consider booking a night at an Airbnb or hotel to enjoy some peace and quiet, along with some much-deserved alone time. A change of scenery can make even the simplest of plans feel more special. 

4. Host a Movie Marathon

Want to stay in and binge-watch some comfort films with your partner to ring in the new year? Host a New-Year’s-themed movie marathon with your favorite takeout, snacks, and warm beverages. This cozy night is the ideal way to celebrate the end of the holiday season while unwinding with your lover. Just make sure you stick with feel-good films so you can start 2026 on a happy note.

5. Recreate Your First Date

Looking for a romantic way to spend New Year’s Eve? Consider recreating your and your partner’s first date, paying tribute to the moment that started it all. Did you hit up a local bar the night you met? Head there for a few drinks. Maybe you went with the classic dinner and movie date. Make reservations at the same restaurant and see a new movie at the same theater for some nostalgic plans. It’s a surefire way to keep the spark alive.

6. Bundle Up for a Nighttime Walk

New Year’s Eve can be cold and dreary in many places, and heading outside might not seem appealing. However, if you bundle up in your warmest clothes, brew some hot chocolate, tea, or even mulled wine, and venture out with your lover for some fresh air, it can be especially romantic. Then, once you’re home with flushed cheeks and cold hands, cuddle up next to the fire to watch the ball drop together.

7. Make Cocktails at Home

You don’t have to go clubbing or bar hopping to enjoy some tasty alcoholic drinks. Why not look up some of your favorite cocktail recipes, pick up the necessary ingredients, and make each other some festive bevs for the evening? There’s nothing quite like getting toasty with your lover—especially from the warmth and privacy of your own home.

The post 7 New Year’s Eve Date Ideas That Aren’t Just Staring at Fireworks in Silence appeared first on VICE.

But is your relationship in the right spot to pull the trigger on living together? Here are five signs you’re ready to move in with your partner.

1. You Spend Most Nights Together

If you and your partner have sleepovers most nights of the week, moving in together might be a natural next step.

“Couples often ‘move in’ long before they formally move in together,” says Charisse Cooke, accredited psychotherapist and relationship expert at Flirtini. “If you constantly have each other’s belongings at home, spend most nights together, and plan weekends as a team, you already have a shared routine.”

2. You’re Financially Compatible

Apparently, there’s a new dating trend on the horizon: heatuationships. According to Cooke, this refers to couples who move in together simply to save some money during the winter, especially to cope with rising heating bills. In fact, a survey by Casinos Analyzer found that 22% of couples would cohabit sooner to split winter bills.

Of course, your financial struggles should not be the sole reason you’re moving in with your partner. However, if you’re both financially compatible, it certainly can help you save money.

“Sharing expenses creates less stress, which contributes to healthier relationships,” says Cooke. “It requires conversations about money, equitable sharing, and living practicalities. Because of this, the reality of life informs a deeper sense of partnership, as both parties confront financial responsibility together as a team.”

3. Your Daily Routines Are Aligned

If your routine is similar to your partner’s (e.g., you both wake up at the same time or go to the gym in the evenings), you’ll likely live well together. 

“When partners have similar microbehaviors such as sleep schedules, pace of life, and daily habits, all of them are the strongest predictors of successful cohabitation,” says Cooke. “Gottman’s research shows that ‘rhythmic compatibility’ is more important than similar hobbies or even temperament.”

4. You’re Both Emotionally Mature

Two hostile partners moving in together is a recipe for disaster. Before taking that next step, you must both reach a level of emotional maturity toward each other, working through conflicts with respect and healthy communication.

“If you have healthy conflict dynamics, this is a sign of readiness,” says Cooke. “When you don’t avoid difficult topics, you understand each other’s triggers, don’t try to win arguments, and have no issue with apologizing, it can compound into a healthy long-term relationship.”

5. You Factor Each Other Into Your Decisions

When you’re in a healthy, mature relationship, you’ll naturally consider your partner when making decisions—no matter how small they might be. This is a great sign you’re ready to take the next step.

“You don’t have to wait for a 5-year plan to move in together,” Cooke clarifies. “Small gestures, such as buying groceries with your partner’s preferences in mind, planning trips taking into account your partner’s schedule, and sharing responsibility for small things, are more than a sign that you’re ready for the next move.”

The post 5 Signs You’re Finally Ready to Move in With Your Partner appeared first on VICE.

According to the Millennial Intimacy Forecast for 2026 by Dating.com, 71% of respondents say nerds are sexy, proving that more daters are finally factoring in personality when searching for potential partners. Of course, that’s not to say that nerds aren’t physically attractive. Rather, it shows that fewer people will be wooed by superficial charm or lust-fueled chemistry. Instead, they’ll search for deeper connections and more emotional attraction.

“Millennials are reshaping the meaning of intimacy, companionship, boundaries, and even what it means to ‘be together,’” the report states. “They are widely considered the burnout generation for a reason. They came of age during financial crises, unstable job markets, the rise of hustle culture, and a decade of ‘always-on’ digital life. Their emotional bandwidth has been stretched for so long that exhaustion isn’t an episode—it’s a baseline.”

Smart Is Sexy Now, and Nerds Are About to Run Dating Apps

Given these facts, it’s understandable that Millennials are questioning the current (toxic) dating culture, neglecting the superficial, time-wasting dating trends that have dominated 2025.

“After years of carrying more emotional load than any generation before them, it’s no surprise that today’s dating and friendship dynamics look radically different, shaped by the rise of virtual intimacy as a sustainable way to connect,” the report continues. “This year’s findings show a culture that has hit emotional capacity—and is now rebuilding its relationship norms from the ground up.”

What will 2026 hold for Millennials in the dating world? More nerdiness, hopefully.

What Defines a ‘Nerd’ In This Context?

According to the report, nerds aren’t just “educated” and “capable” individuals. No, the definition digs far deeper than that.

The attractive nerds are the “actual nerds: bookworms, Dungeons & Dragons players, obsessives with deep knowledge about niche topics,” the report states.

The Millennial Intimacy Forecast referred to this phenomenon as “substance attraction,” which is basically attraction stemming from a genuine emotional connection, with a focus on someone’s character, intelligence, and depth. 

You might be wondering…why the uptick in this form of dating at this time? (And why didn’t it occur sooner?)

According to the report, the sudden shift is “because millennials grew up with chaos—financial crises, political volatility, burnout culture.”

“What’s attractive now is stability, competence, and someone who can disappear into a passion instead of disappearing from the relationship,” the report states. “Nerds have depth, interests, and consistency. They don’t perform cool—they live in whatever they genuinely care about.”

Why Nerds Are Winning on Dating Apps

According to Jaime Bronstein, LCSW, resident therapist at Dating.com, while nerdiness might have been a turnoff in more shallow dating contexts, it is now considered a green flag. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be with someone with passion and intelligence?  

“Superficial charm and constant self-display are taking a back burner,” says Bronstein. “People are looking for safety, emotional maturity, and stability over emotional flight.”

Sounds like the dream, to be honest. These are all admirable traits to find in a partner. Long gone are the days of prioritizing physical appearance and “charm” above an attractive personality and actual connection. At least, for me—and 71% of Millennials, apparently.

“Bottom line: classic intelligence and emotional intelligence are attractive!” Bronstein explains. “Someone genuinely interested in a subject brings presence, intrigue, and consistency in a relationship. These are qualities that were long unrewarded by social media clout, yet now are regaining their status in the dating landscape.”

Additionally, Bronstein adds, “nerds” are often more sincere and emotionally deep. In today’s shallow, narcissistic dating world, these traits are a breath of fresh air.

The post Smart Is Sexy: Nerds Are About to Dominate Dating Apps in 2026 appeared first on VICE.

“Togetherness is something that couples often take for granted in [the] very individualized society we live in,” says Jordanne Sculler, LMHC, licensed therapist and friendship expert for Doubles Social. “However, when a couple mutually decides who they want to be friends with and on what basis that friendship will be built, they experience stronger intimacy, communication, shared worldview, and respect for each other.”

Here are the five benefits of couple friendships—and why they matter.

1. Built-In Quality Time

Even couples who live together often struggle to carve out quality time for one another. 

“It sounds simple, but many couples unintentionally spend the bulk of their time apart, whether because of work schedules, travel, or separate social lives,” Sculler says. “Over time, that distance can lead to feeling disconnected.”

However, when you and your partner prioritize group plans with friends, you’re essentially building in some quality time for each other.

“Couple friendships naturally create scheduled, shared experiences that both partners enjoy, helping them reconnect and spend intentional time together,” Sculler says.

2. Boosted Intimacy and Connection

According to Sculler, the happier and more fulfilled you feel individually, the more affectionate and connected to your partner you’ll likely be. Spending time with the right people can be a game-changer.

“When couples spend time with people they genuinely enjoy, dopamine rises and overall happiness increases,” Sculler explains. “That feel-good energy doesn’t stop at the group hangout; it often carries into the relationship itself.”

3. Healthy Pushing of Comfort Zones

Every couple has its own values, boundaries, and routines. Sometimes, exposing ourselves to different dynamics can challenge our own beliefs and trigger personal growth—both individually and as a couple.

“Another couple introduces new perspectives, personalities, and ideas of what’s fun,” says Sculler. “This variety breaks couples out of their usual routines and exposes them to fresh experiences. Growth happens when we stretch beyond the familiar, and couples’ friendships create a built-in opportunity to do just that, together.

4. Meaningful Individual Friendships

You might assume that connecting as couples would keep interactions more surface-level. However, you can form some of the most meaningful, lasting individual friendships this way.

“Couple friendships often lead to deeper one-on-one friendships as well,” says Sculler. “It’s powerful when both partners connect with another couple and discover individual bonds within that group. In a world where so many friendships rely on convenience, meeting new people you truly want to invest in adds richness, support, and genuine connection to life.”

5. Expanded Personal and Professional Networks

One benefit you might not have considered is career development. By expanding your personal network, you may also expand your professional one, as they often overlap.

“Couple friendships can also organically support career growth,” Sculler points out. “New connections might lead to job opportunities, creative brainstorming, or simply valuable conversations about professional highs and lows.” 

When you speak to like-minded individuals about your career passions, you might leave feeling more inspired.

“Sharing these discussions in a group setting can spark motivation, new ideas, and a sense of camaraderie that benefits both the relationship and individual goals,” Sculler says.

The post 5 Reasons You and Your Partner Should Have ‘Couple Friendships’ appeared first on VICE.

1. Take a Stroll Downtown

If you live in a walkable town, winter can be the perfect time to hit the streets and window-shop with your lover. Many small stores, eateries, and cafes will decorate for the holidays, cultivating a charming atmosphere in the neighborhood. Not only will this keep you active, allowing you to get your steps in during an otherwise sedentary time of year, but it will also help you stay connected to your community. 

2. Cook a Hearty Winter Meal

Comfort food is a real thing, and it’s especially alluring during the cold winter months. From soups and stews to pasta dishes and casseroles, there are endless options to try. If you and your partner fall in love with a particular recipe, why not add it to your own cookbook so you can revisit it the following year (or the very next week—I’m not judging)?

3. Host a Holiday Movie Marathon

During the holidays, many of us are too busy rushing around to actually enjoy the magic of the season. Schedule some downtime with your lover to indulge in the cheesiest holiday classics you can find. Whether you’re a Hallmark movie enthusiast or lean more toward The Grinch, there’s a movie for everyone.

4. Get Snowed In Together

I don’t know about you, but I’ll take any chance I get to stay indoors and cuddle up with my partner. A snowstorm is the perfect excuse for a day like this. If you know a storm is brewing, plan to spend the night or weekend with your person, so you can enjoy the romantic snowfall together.

Pro tip: pick up your favorite food and beverages in advance, so you won’t need to leave the warmth of your home. Whether you spend the entire day in pajamas binge-watching Christmas movies or cook a full-course dinner together, you’re bound to have a blast. Remember: it’s not always what we do, but rather who we do it with.

5. Go Ice Skating

If you’re craving something a bit more active, ice skating is the perfect winter pursuit. Thankfully, you don’t need to be a pro to lace up your skis and hit the ice. In fact, the worse you are, the more fun you’re bound to have, as you and your lover will at least have a good laugh as you hold on to each other for dear life. 

6. Visit a Winter-Themed Market

Staying connected to your community is an important way to fight your winter blues, and what better way to spend your date day than at a local market? Many towns host holiday- or winter-themed events, selling hot drinks, sweet treats, and warm meals, as well as various crafts. Typically, these markets will set the ideal winter scene, playing holiday music and offering seasonal goods from local vendors. Even if it’s cold out, bundle up, sip some hot chocolate, and let your lover keep you warm.

The post 6 Winter Date Ideas That Don’t Suck appeared first on VICE.

“This week isn’t the end of the Gemini Full Moon story—it’s the reveal,” says Neda Farr, the astrologer at dating app Flirtini and the founder of the Starcrossed app. “You’re finally seeing who’s still around, who meant what they said, and who’s waiting for your next move. The clarity is finally here, and it’s now totally up to you.”

Wondering how this energy will impact your sign? Keep reading to hear Farr’s astrological predictions.

1. Aries

Aries, your typical fiery nature could use some refinement during this time, as conversations might get a bit heated. You’ll find clarity from grounded, clear-minded interactions. 

“The Full Moon lit up your third house of communication, which means unfinished conversations getting back to you, or you or someone might say something they can’t take back,” Farr says. “The truth is echoing everywhere, and your voice is everything this week. Choose clarity and speak wisely, even when your heart wants it the other way.”

2. Taurus

It can be hard to set boundaries, but Taurus, it’s time you put your foot down and recognize your worth.

“This lunation activated your second house of self-worth and what you know you deserve,” Farr explains. “If someone’s silence, mixed signals, or disrespect made you feel small or unworthy, the aftershock is still haunting you this week. But you’re done with pretending you’re okay with such an attitude. Expect a situation that gives you the perfect moment to set your standards and stick to them.”

3. Gemini

Gemini, people are finally listening and considering what you’re sharing with them. Use this to your advantage by opening your mind, heart, and mouth to share your truth. 

“This Full Moon was in your sign and in your first house, which is everything personal—your identity and feelings,” says Farr. “Feeling exposed, emotional, or [blurting] out truths you weren’t planning to share? That was Full Moon working. You were the one to initiate shift; now let the others catch up.”

4. Cancer

Cancer, it’s time to let go of your delusions and consciously step down a new, more grounded path.

“This lunation hit your twelfth house—the house of secrets, endings, and subconscious,” Farr explains. “Someone or something from your past may come back up, even in a dream or an unexpected text. It really shook you, but now you’re finally seeing a deeper pattern that affected your love life.”

5. Leo

Leo, this might be an emotionally challenging time in your love life—but this week should bring you all the clarity you need.

“This Full Moon hit your eleventh house of friendship, social media, and messy situationships. The line between ‘just friends’ and ‘romantic partners’ has never felt blurrier,” says Farr. “You might still be waiting for someone to say what they meant…or to say anything at all. But their silence is very loud. It’s time to decide what kind of connection is worth your time and energy.”

6. Virgo

Virgo, as a highly analytical sign, you should approach this period with brutal honesty and practicality.

“This was your tenth house Full Moon: reputation, life direction, and long-term goals,” says Farr. “Chances are that it made you question whether your current love life fits the future you’re trying to build. And someone’s actions will bring you all the answers this week—is this a partner you see by your side in five years, or is it just another detour?”

7. Libra

Libra, it’s time to level up and let go of connections that no longer serve you. Your pure heart deserves more than the love it’s been receiving.

“This Full Moon lit up your ninth house of truth, long-distance connections, and unspoken beliefs, and someone’s true intentions were revealed,” says Farr. “This week, you’re facing the realization that you’ve outgrown a certain romantic pattern or person. What they said (or didn’t say) told you everything, and now you’re asking yourself: do you keep chasing the fantasy or start moving toward the love that actually sees all of you?”

8. Scorpio

Are you still reeling from the full moon’s chaos, Scorpio?

“The Full Moon in Gemini illuminated your eighth house of secrets, entanglements, and emotional debts,” Farr points out. “It exposed power dynamics and revealed feelings that were too intense to put into words. Now you’re witnessing the after-effects: someone might be retreating, or finally opening up.”

However, she noted, there’s a twist.

“You’re now the one holding the power,” Farr explains. “You’re seeing a dynamic for what it really is. Let the truth sink in before you decide whether this thing is worth continuing.”

9. Sagittarius

Sagittarius, this recent full moon was all about relationships and dating for your sign.

“It landed in your seventh house of love, commitment, and partnership,” Farr says. “Someoneʼs true nature came out, or a situationship finally cracked wide open. If things were hot and cold before, now they’re boiling.”

Right now, you might finally be facing the truth.

“They’re either willing to grow with you, or they never were,” she says. “Expect emotional follow-ups this week. The ‘what are we’ talk is still on the table, but this time, you’re the one in control.”

10. Capricorn

Capricorn, as the “father of the zodiac,” you have all the power right now—and much of the time, to be honest. It’s time to use it.

“This Full Moon activated your sixth house of your daily life, boundaries, and what you give,” says Farr. “You’re seeing clearly just how much energy you’ve been pouring into someone who hasn’t been showing up.”

While they might be expressing remorse, admitting their faults, or promising to step it up, this doesn’t mean you should forgive and forget.

“The real question isn’t whether they mean it—it’s whether you still want this, now that you’ve seen how little they gave before,” she says.

11. Aquarius

You’ve likely been experiencing quite the rollercoaster in your dating life lately, Aquarius.

“For you, this Full Moon exploded in your fifth house of romance, passion, exes, and fun,” says Farr. “If an old love suddenly popped up, a crush started a full-blown drama, or someone finally confessed their feelings—believe them.”

Of course, she clarifies, this doesn’t mean you should doubt your own intuition. 

“Your heart is speaking louder than ever, and even if the energy still feels chaotic, your desire is definitely trying to tell you something,” she says. “Pay attention to it.”

12. Pisces

Pisces, do you feel like your past is haunting you?

“This lunation shook your fourth house of home, safety, and emotional roots,” says Farr. “Family, comfort, and your past might come rushing up—through a call from an ex, a memory you thought you’d buried, or even a revelation that the love you want doesn’t feel safe in your current environment.”

You might be wondering…where do you even go from here?

“Now’s the time to reflect on what ‘home’ truly means for you,” says Farr. “You’re rewriting your emotional blueprint, and someone might show up this week, either to help you heal or remind you why you had to leave.”

The post Last Week’s Full Moon Is Still Shaking Up Every Zodiac Sign’s Love Life appeared first on VICE.

The emotional whiplash makes sense. Psychology Today notes that heartbreak isn’t a single loss. It’s the collapse of the relationship, the friendship inside it, the imagined life you built around it, and the version of yourself you knew inside that structure. Therapist Kenneth J. Doka describes this period as a “transition,” which lines up with William Bridges’ idea that transitions feel confusing because they drop you between identities. That middle zone creates the sadness, the fog, the self-doubt, and all the other symptoms people mistake for personal failure.

Here are five ways to move through it without losing yourself in the wreckage.

What Psychology Says Actually Helps Heal a Broken Heart

1. Give the transition room to breathe

Bridges argued that the limbo between endings and beginnings feels disorienting by design. Psychology Today points out that people often stay tangled in that confusion even after the breakup is “over” because the mind needs time to reorganize. Let the in-between exist. Rushing it only stretches it.

2. Treat pain as part of the reboot

Clinical psychologist Guy Winch told NPR, “Rejection piggybacks on physical pain pathways.” That punch in the chest isn’t melodrama. It’s biology. Pain doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means your system is updating.

3. Pull your strengths back into the picture

Therapist Cynthia Handley writes that people forget their own capabilities during transitions, even though those abilities carried them through every messy chapter that came before. Ask how you handled earlier upheavals. You didn’t imagine that resilience. It’s yours.

4. Revisit the memories that prove you know how to survive things

Handley references psychoanalyst Christopher Bollas, who called this the “unthought known,” the stash of lived experience you rarely access. Those forgotten moments of competence and comfort matter more than anything your current brain is telling you.

5. Accept that you’re changing, not disappearing

Handley notes that after major transitions, people feel different but still recognizably themselves. Heartbreak doesn’t erase your identity. It expands the edges.

A broken heart can make the world feel narrowed to a single point, but that point is temporary. You’re in the messy middle of becoming someone you haven’t met yet, and that’s a story worth staying awake for.

The post 5 Ways to Heal a Broken Heart, According to Psychology appeared first on VICE.

As it turns out, I’m not alone in this overwhelm. I recently spoke with my close friend, whom I haven’t seen in months, about this issue, expressing my sorrow for not being as available. She echoed the sentiment: both of us apologized for how busy we’ve been, then quickly reassured each other that we’re trying our best, and this is merely a part of life.

That being said, for our own (and each other’s) well-being, we decided to implement some new habits into our daily lives. Here are four ways to maintain connection with your loved ones—without burning yourself out in the process.

1. Surround Yourself With the Right People

The older I get, the more I value low-maintenance friends—those who understand that life gets busy and don’t hold it against you. That’s who my one friend (whom I mentioned above) and I are for each other.

Many people have high standards for their loved ones, expecting them to attend every party/gathering or check in multiple times a week. This might work for some, but personally, my introverted self just simply cannot keep up.

“Experts say we have room for about 50 people in our lives—you have to be honest with yourself about which connections matter enough to maintain,” one person wrote on Reddit. “I schedule a standing call with my closest friend like it’s a meeting. Sounds mechanical, but it works better than hoping we’ll randomly reach out when life isn’t too busy.”

2. Make Connecting a Priority

Just as work and health hold merit in your daily routine, so should your personal connections, as they often fulfill our emotional and social needs. 

For example, carve out a certain time in your day to respond to unanswered texts, or dedicate one day of the week to spend time with loved ones, be it family or friends. Not only will this help you be more present with your people, but it will also help bring more balance to your life.

3. Send Voice Notes Instead of Texts

One of the best inventions was the beloved voice note, which offers a convenient way to communicate with your friends without having to type away or schedule an actual live phone call. Not to mention, hearing each other’s voices can personalize the communication.

One of my close friends and I strictly communicate via voice memos, listening to them whenever we get a moment to breathe. In fact, we often joke that they’re like mini podcast episodes to binge-listen to while cleaning or working out. Rather than dreading those unanswered texts piling up in your inbox, listening to a cheeky voice memo in your free time is far more lighthearted.

4. Express Your Gratitude

Sometimes, to feel connected, all we need to hear is how someone loves and appreciates us. Whenever you think of it, leave a cheesy voicemail or Venmo them money for coffee to express your love for your friends.

“If I get a moment to send a long, meaningful text, I do,” one person wrote on Reddit. “I don’t care if it is too sappy or out of the blue; we are all busy. It’s nice to know your busy friends still love you.”

The post 4 Ways to Keep the People You Love Close, Even When You Have No Time for Them appeared first on VICE.

What Exactly Is a Love Addiction?

According to research, “Love addiction presents itself as an incessant need for the presence of the other, indispensable for one’s life, a relationship within which purely dysfunctional behaviors associated with a recurrent fear of abandonment are implemented.”

Surely, this extends beyond the typical desire to spend time with your partner. 

“When we refer to love addiction, we are alluding to all those changes that suffocate and suppress the [lives] of these ‘addicted’ subjects and the people who are close to them,” the researchers continued. 

When love becomes obsessive, and fear of loss becomes crippling, then you might be falling into love addiction. 

Forms of Love Addiction:

There are various forms of love addiction, or different ways it presents itself. For example, love addiction can present as partner-focused (an addiction to a particular person) or emotion-focused (an addiction to the feeling of love itself).

According to AddictionHelp.com, the four main types of love addiction include: 

• Obsessive Love Addiction: a preoccupation with a romantic partner or with the idea of romantic relationships in general. 
• Codependent Love Addiction: an apparent need to “save” or care for a partner to feel fulfilled or valued themselves (often at their own expense). 
• Avoidant Love Addiction: a strong desire for connection, yet contradicting fear of intimacy. 
• Serial Love Addiction: an addiction to relationships/the feeling of love itself, rather than a specific person. 

Is It Love or Addiction?

You might be wondering…are you really in love, or are you just chemically addicted to your partner or the feelings they provoke? 

“Partly what we call love is just being addicted to another person,” says Dr Brian Earp, associate professor of biomedical ethics, philosophy, and psychology at the National University of Singapore, per The Guardian. He described love itself as “phenomenologically identical to being high … an altered state of consciousness that’s very pleasurable and thrilling, somewhat scary, but very, very enjoyable.”

When you put it that way, it’s no wonder so many of us fall into its alluring trap. Love is, of course, a beautiful feeling—but also a powerful commitment. When love addiction is involved, however, an otherwise healthy relationship can grow toxic in no time. Our feelings become hijacked by the chemicals in our brain, as love acts almost as a drug, driving unhealthy behaviors.

Is Love Addiction Dangerous?

An article published in The National Center for Biotechnology Information found that romantic love can, in fact, be addictive in nature, leading to dangerous outcomes.

“Love can be thrilling, but it can also be perilous,” the researchers wrote. “When our feelings are returned, we might feel euphoric. Other times, love’s pull is so strong that we might follow it even to the point of hardship or personal ruin (Earp, Wudarczyk, Sandberg, and Savulescu 2013). Lovers can become distracted, unreliable, unreasonable, or even unfaithful. In the worst case, they can become deadly.”

Additionally, the authors explained that love can drive aggression (think: crimes of passion), while love loss can trigger immense grief, even leading to depression and withdrawal from society. 

“These phenomena—including cycles of alternating ecstasy and despair, desperate longing, and the extreme and sometimes damaging thoughts and behaviors that can follow from love’s loss—bear a resemblance to analogous phenomena associated with more ‘conventional’ addictions like those for drugs, alcohol, or gambling,” the researchers wrote. 

If you’re finding yourself battling symptoms of love addiction, it’s important to speak with a professional—as you would if you were battling any other form of addiction. Thankfully, there are programs and treatment plans specifically designed to support love addicts.

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